One Hot Desert Night Page 14

  He took the chair in the corner, crossed his slack-covered legs like a gentleman, and said, “Please. Be my guest. That should allow me time to calm enough not to say something I will later regret.”

  She chose the bedpost spot that he’d recently vacated to give it her best effort before giving up. “First, I sincerely didn’t mean to hurt you today by handing you the baby. I only wanted to force you to realize that life renews itself, if only you’ll let it. My mistake.”

  He streaked a hand over his jaw. “We have been through this before.”

  “Secondly,” she continued. “I love you, Rayad. More than you will ever know. But I won’t stay another minute and watch you die inside a little more each day because you can’t forgive yourself.”

  He uncrossed his legs and lowered his head. “I do not merit forgiveness.”

  She went to him, knelt down and laid her hands on his thighs. “Yes, you do. And someday you’ll wake up alone and realize you’ve missed out on a future full of happiness and love. Do you really want to face that, or would you rather spend your days with a woman who both loves and accepts you unconditionally?”

  He took her hands, came to his feet while simultaneously pulling her into his arms. They embraced for several moments before he let her go and sought her eyes. “I do not understand what you see in me, Sunny, nor do I understand how you so readily accepted my many transgressions. I am honored to have met such a remarkable woman.”

  There it was—the inevitable goodbye. She refused to shed a tear, even though they threatened to make an appearance. She’d rather part on good terms and a smile, which she gave him. “I’m not so remarkable, Rayad. I’m just your average girl who hopes to one day find a guy who loves her like crazy.”

  “I wish that could be me. Since it cannot, I have no doubt you will find a man who better deserves you.”

  Hard for her to imagine that now that she’d found the best. Too bad he didn’t realize it. “Thanks for the optimistic outlook on my future partner, and most important, for giving me back my confidence.”

  “It was always there, Sunny. You did not need my assistance, only minimal prodding. Rest assured I would not take back those moments with you, and our lovemaking meant more to me than you realize.”

  If she didn’t get away from him now, she would have a total meltdown. In an effort to prevent that, Sunny headed to the desk in the corner, retrieved a piece of royal stationery, and jotted down her personal information. When she was done, she willed her composure to return before she went back to him and offered him the paper. “This is my temporary address until I find a new apartment, and my cell phone number. Should you happen to find yourself in Atlanta, stop by and see me. And if you change your mind and decide, miracle of all miracles, you want to give us a chance, give me a call. If you don’t, call me anyway if you’d like, just so I know you’re okay. That is, when you’re not packing an AK-47 and searching for bad guys, of course.” She attempted a smile, but she was sure it fell flat.

  He stared at the page for a few moments before centering his gaze on hers. “I can make no promises.”

  “I know that,” she said, her eyes beginning to mist. “Just promise me you’ll at least try to be safe.”

  “I will try.”

  She gave in to her need to hold him again, and he thankfully accepted her embrace. He also gave her a gentle kiss that only served to shatter her heart a little more. Then he left without looking back, or saying goodbye.

  After the door closed behind him, signifying the end to an unforgettable chapter in her life, Sunny stretched out across the bed and cried.

  * * *

  For seven long days she had been gone. For seven long nights he had missed her company.

  Rayad could only think of one way to abandon all thoughts of Sunny McAdams and bring his mind back to the ever-present mission.

  For that reason, he dressed in uniform and sought out his commander-in-chief. “I am respectfully requesting my immediate return to active duty, Adan.”

  His cousin did not bother to rise from the chair when he’d strode into the office without announcing his arrival. Nor did Adan look surprised by the request.

  “The answer to that is no, Rayad. You have yet to be medically cleared.”

  “I am completely recovered.”

  “We’ll see what the physician says about that.”

  Fortunately he had prepared for this argument. “I saw him earlier this morning and he pronounced me quite well. If you do not trust me, call him.”

  “I will most certainly do that,” Adan said. “And then I will determine if I believe you are not only mentally but physically ready to return to work.”

  Rayad braced his hands on the desk and leaned forward. “If my memory serves me correctly, you summoned me back to the palace last week because you were in need of my services, yet you have avoided me since my return.”

  Adan tossed the pen he’d been gripping aside and watched it roll onto the floor. “I lied about the mission.”

  His blood began to boil over the deception. “Why?”

  “Because of my concern for my sister-in-law’s well-being.”

  “I did not harm her, nor would I.”

  “Not intentionally,” Adan said. “But Piper believes you didn’t help her, either. In fact, my wife is convinced you’re the reason she departed earlier than planned.”

  He could deny that conjecture, but then he would be telling a falsehood. “She is preparing to resume her career.”

  Adan inclined his head and studied him straight on. “Are you certain about that? Sunny seemed fairly down in the dumps when she left, not to mention I’ve been informed you took advantage of her during your respite.”

  One more insult, and they might come to blows, as they had a time or two in their youth. “No advantage was taken. Sunny and I are adults, and what transpired between us was consensual.”

  This time Adan leaned forward and glared at him. “I know you, Rayad. After your wife’s death, you used your mysterious charm and machismo to pull women into your tangled web. Then you would leave them high and dry with a wounded heart.”

  He felt the need to defend himself, despite the truth in his cousin’s acerbic comments. “What I shared with Sunny was very different. She is different. I care a great deal for her. More than I have cared for any woman in years. I would never intentionally cause her any pain, emotional or physical. Still, I am not the man for her, and that is why I was forced to let her go, although I despised every second of it.”

  Adan suddenly began to laugh. “Bloody hell, Rayad, you’re in love with her.”

  He straightened from the shock of hearing his name in relationship to that word. “I did not say that.”

  “You didn’t have to say it. It is written all over your lovesick face.”

  Rayad realized Adan was correct in his assumption. He had fallen in love with the beautiful journalist. He loved her still, and most likely always would love her. Yet one issue still prevented him from exploring their relationship further—he had yet to find those responsible for murdering his wife and child. “Regardless of my feelings, I cannot act on them.”

  Adan chose that moment to stand, sending the rolling chair backward into the bookshelf behind him. “Are you daft, Rayad? Of course you can act on them. Nothing is holding you here. You have more money than you can spend, and you no longer have a home to speak of. I will grant you an extended leave to get your head on straight and go after her, the same as I went after my wife. I have not once regretted that decision, and neither will you.”

  The suggestion seemed to make sense, yet he harbored several concerns. “I have not found my family’s killers. She would never understand my need to complete that mission.”

  His cousin leaned forward and glared at him. “Perhaps it’s time to move on from
that mission.”

  Had Adan suggested that before Sunny, Rayad would have immediately rejected that notion. “If I did decide to seek her out, though I am not claiming I will, she most likely would refuse to see me.”

  “My bride also happened to tell me Sunny gave you her number and address,” Adan said. “That is not the action of a woman who doesn’t want to see you.”

  Another correct assessment, followed by more internal debate. “If I pursued a relationship with Sunny, I would be giving up all that I have gained in my career. I would be giving up on avenging my wife and child’s deaths.”

  “And the gifts you would receive in return would be tenfold.” Adan sighed. “Just remember, retaliation won’t bring your wife and child back, Rayad. You should put the past to rest, otherwise, your futile quest will rob you of a future with Sunny. Honor your wife and son by learning to love again.”

  His cousin’s logic only served to confuse him. “I will take your advice into consideration, but I make no promises.”

  “Fine, but don’t wait too long to decide. And should you need to pay Sunny a visit, I will personally fly you to the States myself.”

  “In the meantime, I will report for duty at the base in the morning,” he said as he walked away from his well-meaning cousin.

  Rayad left the office in a state of turmoil. He could not go to Sunny unless he was prepared to discard his need for revenge. He could not give his all to her unless he learned to forgive himself. He could not move forward in his life unless he prepared to let go of the past.

  Until he was absolutely certain he could manage all those things, he would return to his mission with only memories of a very special woman who had changed him in many ways through her unconditional acceptance. If that certainty did not come, he would face spending the rest of his days alone. And for the first time in many, many years, that concept no longer appealed to him.

  He had much to decide and hoped he arrived at the correct decision. Only time would tell.

  * * *

  When the bell rang, Sunny was just about ready to give the pizza guy a good piece of her mind for taking two hours to deliver her dinner. Poised to do that very thing, she threw open the door, only to find not some skinny adolescent, but her erstwhile lover and favorite tough guy. She opened her mouth, closed it then opened it again. “Is this a mirage?”

  He cracked a crooked smile. “No mirage. May I come in?”

  “Of course. Have a seat and take a load off.”

  He sent her a confused look as he breezed past her then dropped down on the lounger next to the sofa. It took a minute for Sunny to move, and she was trembling so badly she thought she might shake right out of her fuzzy purple slippers.

  After she sat down on the couch, she stared at him a moment, expecting him to disappear. “If I’d known you were coming, I would’ve baked cookies. Or at least dressed in something nicer than sweats and a hoodie.”

  “You look as beautiful as I remember.”

  So did he in his navy sport coat, matching slacks and white shirt. “Mind telling me why you’re here?”

  “I have been doing a lot of thinking since you left Bajul.”

  “About?”

  “Us.”

  “And?”

  He leaned forward, his hands clasped before his parted knees, his usual position when he was about to get all serious. “I returned to duty for a few days, yet I could not stop remembering our time together. I could not discard that the danger I frequently face might take me away from you permanently.”

  I will not hope. I will not hope... “But we’re not really together, Rayad.”

  “And that is why I am here.” He hesitated a moment before he spoke again. “You have been right about many things, Sunny, the least of which involves my inability to regain my life. I want to change.”

  She leaned across the end table and touched his arm. “You can, Rayad. You will.”

  “I am still not certain that is true. I know I cannot accomplish that without your help, yet I question if it would be fair to ask that of you.”

  Hope crept back in despite her determination to stop it. “I can only help if you let me, and that’s going to be difficult if you’re determined to find your family’s killer.”

  “I have taken a leave from the military, with Adan’s blessing.”

  Once again she was shocked senseless. “Does Adan know about us?”

  He leaned back and rubbed his chin. “He does. He was instrumental in convincing me to seek you out. He went so far as to pilot the plane that brought me to Atlanta once I decided to come here.”

  The next time she saw her brother-in-law, she was going to give him a big sisterly kiss. “I can only imagine that conversation.”

  “He told me that he regretted almost letting your sister go, but he doesn’t regret seeking her out and making a life with her.”

  “It’s obvious he doesn’t.”

  His gaze drifted away before he leveled it on her again. “Would you be willing to return to Bajul with me?”

  “Why would I do that when I just got back from there a month ago?”

  “Because I wish to be with you.”

  “For how long?”

  “Until we determine if we are suited for each other.”

  Not quite good enough, but close. “I can’t throw away my career and run off with you on the chance that you might want to seriously pursue a relationship.”

  “You could still work and be based in Bajul.”

  Damn his logic. “That still doesn’t diminish the risk I’d be taking, especially since you’ve never really said how you truly feel about me.”

  “Would you take that risk if I told you I love you?”

  Exactly what she wanted to hear, but could she believe him? “How do you know you love me?”

  He rose from the chair to join her on the sofa and wrapped one arm around her shoulder. “For the past few weeks, my nightmares have been replaced with dreams of you, when I happened to actually sleep. You are all I have thought about, and the ache over the loss of you has been unbearable. I know I do not deserve your forgiveness for my disregard, but I implore you—”

  “Shut up and kiss me, Rayad.”

  He did as she asked, melding his lips to hers in a meaningful, heartfelt kiss.

  Once they parted, she asked the question foremost on her mind. “If I do decide to return with you, where will we stay?”

  “That is a dilemma. I would offer the cavern, but it will soon be filled with military trainees. Perhaps I should stay here for a time. I have seen little of the United States, and I have never explored Georgia.”

  “That sounds just peachy,” she said, even knowing the Southern reference would be lost on him. “Do you honestly believe we can make this work after knowing each other such a short time?”

  “Do you still love me?”

  She laid her head on his shoulder. “Yes, I do.”

  “Will you always accept my faults and failures?”

  “If you’ll accept mine.”

  “Then I do believe we have a chance at a bright future.”

  “So do I.” And she did.

  “Someday I hope to have another child.”

  Only then did she know for sure he was ready to move on. “I’d like to have children, too, at some point in time.”

  “I am happy to hear that. And in the very near future, you should know I plan make you my bride.”

  She reared back and stared at him. “Hold your horses, Arabian cowboy. Let’s slow down a bit. First we need to get each to know each other better before we even consider going down that road.”

  He pressed a kiss on her cheek. “I agree, yet I will warn you I am not always a patient man, and I can be very persuasive.”

  �
�That might be true,” she said. “But it’s going to take more than pretty words and a lot of good sex to convince me we need to get married anytime soon.”

  He gave her a wink and a patently sexy smile. “We shall see.”

  She winked back. “Yes, we will.”

  * * *

  “By the power vested in me by the great state of Georgia, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

  And there, a scant three months later, while standing on the lawn of a gorgeous antebellum mansion before a few friends and family, Sunny McAdams-Rostam swallowed her pride and ate her words.

  Fortunately, the kiss her new husband planted on her lips made the harried decision to jump headlong into wedded bliss seem completely worthwhile. So did the fact he looked incredible in a tuxedo. And he was rich as chocolate. So rich he’d bought her the house serving as the majestic background. Not that his money ever mattered, nor would it.

  But that wealth did enable them to take an extended honeymoon in Milan following the ceremony, as suggested by Adan, who as Rayad’s best man, now followed behind them as they walked back down the aisle, the matron of honor—her twin—on his arm.

  When they passed the last row of chairs, Sunny leaned over to Rayad and whispered, “Do you think they have caves in Italy?”

  “I am certain if they do, we will find them.”

  They shared a laugh as they strolled to the gazebo where the reception was being held. Once they arrived, they paused for a picture with the attendants, greeted a few guests then unfortunately parted ways when Adan took Rayad aside for an impromptu military conference.

  Piper approached her then and gave her a hug. “You look fantastic in that wedding gown, Sunshine. Satin and strapless suit you well.”

  Sunny surveyed the bridesmaid gown from hem to neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Pookie. And you said you couldn’t wear red.”

  “I look like a large tomato,” she said, her hand automatically going to her belly. “It’s only going to get worse when I move into the second trimester.”