His E-Mail Order Wife Page 13

  The scene played out in Drew’s mind with great detail, calling up a wrenching pain in his heart that never went away, even after all this time. “I still remember her sobs, how she looked up at me and opened her arms and laughed through her tears, as if I were some knight coming to her rescue. I just sat on the floor and held her. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to let her go because she was so afraid, and I knew I should probably be seeing to Talia. It was a nightmare.”

  Kristina gently touched his face. “Oh, Drew. I’m so sorry.”

  He swallowed around the painful knot in his throat. “I still feel like it was all my fault. If I had been more adamant, gone to see her doctor and made him understand that Talia wasn’t getting any better, then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. If I had been home earlier. If I had been more careful and not gotten her pregnant—”

  “Then you wouldn’t have Amanda now.”

  Drew lowered his eyes. “No, I wouldn’t. But I worry that this will somehow affect Mandy later down the road.”

  “Children are resilient, Drew. She seems very well-adjusted, and she has you to thank for that. She knows how much you love her. That love has sustained her, gotten her past the crisis. She’ll only remember what a wonderful father you’ve been to her.”

  If only he could believe so strongly in the power of love. If only he could open himself up enough to give Kristina that kind of love, the commitment she deserved. In reality, he had opened up to her, more than he had to anyone and his burden felt much lighter, even if not completely diminished.

  She stretched out and faced him then ran a gentle hand over his jaw. “You were young and had the responsibility of a child, making a living, and a wife who was ill. Talia’s death was horrible and tragic, but it wasn’t your fault.”

  He really wanted to believe that, but the mistakes still ate at him. “I took too many wrong turns. I wasn’t strong enough to keep her afloat.”

  “You did what you thought was best and the rest was up to her. Even if you could go back and change things, that doesn’t mean it would turn out any differently. It was beyond your control.”

  “But I keep wondering—”

  She stopped his words with a soft kiss. “Don’t wonder, Drew. You’re only torturing yourself. It’s time to put it all behind you. It’s done. And just because you have made a few mistakes doesn’t make you any less of a man. You’re a wonderful, caring man and father.”

  Drew saw compassion reflecting in her beautiful brown eyes, and admiration. For him. “I don’t deserve you, Kristina.”

  “I disagree. We both deserve to be happy, beginning tonight.”

  Kristina rose to her feet and worked the thin straps off her shoulders. The gown fell to the floor, leaving her completely naked, allowing him to take a long visual journey down her body. Her slight tremble was the only indication of discomfort, very unlike the woman who’d barely been able to look at him that first day they’d met. She seemed more secure in her appearance, and she had every right to be considering she could qualify as a goddess with her generous curves, her incredible breasts, her smooth skin that made him want to send his mouth over every inch of her.

  “Come here, lady,” he said as he held out his hand. “I plan to make you very happy tonight.” Not only tonight, but in the days to come. The months to come. Maybe even the years to come.

  Kristina joined him again, this time in his arms. She kissed him first, a deep, satisfying kiss that echoed the emotions rising inside him from a place he’d buried beneath guilt. A guilt that had lessened because of Kristina—a remarkable woman, forgiving, insightful, sensual.

  As he explored the reaches of her warm, wet mouth with his tongue, he traveled along her feminine lines with hungry hands, discovering, memorizing, wanting. Then he rose above her and stared into her eyes as he palmed her breast.

  “You are so incredible, Kristina,” he murmured. “All of you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman.” Even Talia, because this was different. What he glimpsed in Kristina’s eyes was more than lust, more than he’d ever believed possible. It was love in its purest form, unconcerned with past transgressions, unconditional. All for him.

  “I love you, Drew,” she whispered, her cheeks dampened by tears he intended to kiss away.

  She loved him?

  He had no idea how he’d managed that kind of commitment from her, but he valued her love more than she knew. And he was going to show her exactly how much.

  When Drew stood, Kristina feared he was about to change his mind. Had she been too quick in her admission? Too insistent that he needed to get on with his life? But she wanted him to forget his past, at least tonight, and remember her. If only he would give them a chance to make new memories.

  He hovered above her in silence, stared at her with an intense gaze, and she felt totally exposed, body and soul. “Don’t,” he commanded when she tried to cross her arms over her breasts. “I want to look at you in the firelight. Just for a minute. Then I’m taking you to bed.”

  Feeling buoyed and brave and bold, she stretched out on her back and toyed with the tiny heart necklace at her throat. Drew’s gaze followed her fingertips as she traced a path down the cleft of her breasts, then on to her navel to draw slow circles around the perimeter. She turned to her side and settled a hand on her hip. He watched her with darkened eyes as she made brief passes toward the tangle of curls sheltering secrets she wanted him to uncover with his own capable hands. When her gaze came to rest below the waistband of his pajamas, she had no doubt that her blatant demonstration of a woman in need had fully aroused him. Her nerve endings burned, and a rush of hot dampness settled between her thighs. Never before had she believed she could actually do this, become a sensual, uninhibited being. But never before had she met a man she wanted to do this for.

  “Come here.”

  She accepted his offered hand and found herself pulled up into his strong arms, melded to his solid body. She could feel every part of him when he positioned himself in the cradle of her thighs. His kiss was deep and delving as he mimicked the act of love with his tongue.

  “I’m going to lose it,” he murmured, then took her hand and began pulling her up the stairs behind him. At the landing, he backed her against the wall and kissed her again.

  He slipped his hand between their bodies and moved it lower and lower, until it came to rest on her abdomen. “I can’t wait,” he murmured. “I don’t want you to wait.”

  “But the bedroom—”

  “In a minute. Right now, enjoy.”

  And she did, every one of Drew’s insistent strokes, every spark of sensation, every pulse of desire as he played her like a soothing concerto. She tipped her head back against the wall as Drew continued his carnal barrage, lost in the retreat and advance of his skilled fingers deep inside her, then over her sensitive flesh. He suckled her breast with a gentle pull that created a blissful ache Kristina wasn’t sure she could bear without collapsing.

  Drew held her tighter and whispered, “You feel so good. Everywhere.”

  The pressure built and built to a steady crescendo before the climax overtook her, claiming the last of the oxygen from her lungs. She moaned with the pleasure she’d only imagined until now. Her body felt boneless, her knees shaky. Yet Drew was there, holding her, telling her again and again how much he wanted her.

  He gave her a few minutes to recover before he led her into his bedroom lit by the bedside lamp, and lowered them onto the bed. The ceiling fan whirling above them did nothing to stop the heat in Kristina’s body, the ever-present need she knew would be there until she had all of Drew. She didn’t even have the desire to turn off the lights, because she still had much she wanted to see.

  Reclaiming her courage, she pushed Drew onto his back and pulled the drawstring at his waist. He lifted his hips, allowing her to work the pajama bottoms down his well-toned legs. She tossed them behind her, and her attention was drawn to a part of him not at all easy to ignore. Taking a slow
breath and a long look, she stared in awe, amazed that she had done that to him. But considering what he’d done to her, she figured turnabout was definitely fair play.

  “Don’t be afraid to touch.”

  Kristina glanced up to find Drew grinning, his hands stacked behind his head. He looked pleased and proud. He had much to be proud of, she decided.

  Biting her lip, Kristina reached out her hand and started with a tentative fingertip down his ample length. The hiss of his breath startled Kristina and she pulled her hand back.

  “Did I hurt you?” she asked.

  “Not even close.” His eyes closed tightly. “You have exceptional hands.”

  “Think so?” She took him into those exceptional hands to stroke and caress, learn and enlighten herself on all that made Drew Connelly the quintessential male.

  “That’s enough,” he said, followed by a ragged breath.

  She stroked him once more just in case. “Are you positive?”

  With the agility of a pouncing tiger, he had her on her back in record time. He gave her a smile that promised pleasure, sending her whole body reeling with the force of her need. “I’m going to be very careful with you, Kristina.”

  She really didn’t want careful. She wanted hard and lusty. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not fragile.”

  “But you haven’t been with anyone, and this might hurt a little.”

  She’d more than gladly take the pain in exchange for the pleasure. “I can handle it, Drew. I promise.”

  “I don’t doubt you can, but I’m still going to be careful.”

  He left her for a time to retrieve a condom from the nightstand. How convenient, Kristina thought, then admonished herself for giving in to the spark of jealousy. What Drew did before her, and with whom, didn’t matter. What he did from this point forward would be her only concern.

  And boy, what he did at that moment forced every reasonable thought from her brain. He touched her again and again, brought her back to the brink of climax then positioned himself between her thighs. He kept his eyes focused on hers as he slipped inside, slowly at first, then pushed harder. She concentrated on him, his assessing blue eyes, until the sharp sting of pain came about as he seated himself deeper.

  “Breathe, Kristina,” he said.

  Funny, she hadn’t noticed she was holding her breath. She inhaled slowly and exhaled even slower.

  “Better?” he asked in a tone that sounded as if he were battling restraint.

  She managed a smile. “I’m okay. How about you?”

  His responding grin looked almost pained. “I’m great.”

  “But you will be better in a minute, right?”

  “Right.”

  Feeling brave, she lifted her hips and drew him farther into her body. He sucked in a labored breath. “You’re determined to do me in, aren’t you?”

  “Well, I certainly hope so.”

  “I’m definitely going to return the favor.”

  Thrilled by that fact, Kristina clung to his back and prepared for the ride of her life.

  Drew didn’t disappoint her. Although he was very gentle at first, he seemed to lose control after a time, but then so did Kristina. Total control. They caught a rhythm, their bodies in sync, their limbs intertwined, bare skin meshed together creating slick dampness everywhere they touched. Drew kissed her again, touched her again, brought her to a feverish release again. He shuddered in her arms then tensed when his own climax claimed him. Kristina relished all the sensations, the weight of his body on hers, the strength of his arms.

  “You okay, sweetheart?”

  Sweetheart? Kristina’s heart took flight at the endearment. “I couldn’t be better.”

  He painted soft kisses over her cheeks. “Neither could I. In fact, I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so good.” He paused as if he wanted to say something, then added, “And thirsty. Care for some champagne?”

  At the moment, champagne wasn’t what she wanted, or needed. She wanted to be held, needed Drew to tell her that what they’d shared had been more than simply “good.” At least it had been more for her. So much more.

  She recalled what Lilly had said about men and sex and emotions. Maybe now that they’d taken that ultimate step, at some point in time Drew might learn to love her, too. She didn’t want to rush him, fearing that by doing so she might drive him away. She had to be patient.

  “Champagne sounds great,” she said, resigned to the fact that Drew was more interested in libations than lingering embraces and love talk. “Do you want me to go get it?”

  “No. I want us to go get it together. Why waste a good fire? I also think we should toast our first evening alone.”

  Kristina felt somewhat reassured since he did say their “first” evening, meaning he intended there to be more. A very positive sign. “A toast sounds good, but I’m not sure about the fire. You were sweating like you’d run a marathon when I first walked into the room.”

  Drew chuckled. “That had nothing to do with that fire, babe. Believe me.”

  She nipped at his lip, then smoothed her tongue over it. “Well, maybe we’ll cool you off with some champagne. I can certainly think of a few ways to use it.”

  He sent her a teasing grin. “Really? How?”

  She brushed a dark lock of hair from his forehead, replacing it with a kiss. “Oh, I don’t know exactly, but it would involve licking it off.”

  Drew grinned and patted her bare bottom. “I think I’ve created a monster.”

  He had created a woman who for once finally considered herself desirable. A woman who was willing to open her heart to a man whom she trusted with her delicate emotions. A woman completely in love.

  Drew fumbled for the annoying phone and answered with “This better be good.”

  “It is. Really good.”

  With the receiver clutched in his hand, Drew turned onto his back and sighed. “What’s up, Brett?”

  “A new Connelly, that’s what’s up.”

  Drew could hear the smile in his brother’s voice, and couldn’t hold back his own grin. “I’ll be damned. When?”

  “Actually, about ten minutes ago. I called you first since I didn’t want to wake everyone yet.”

  Drew’s glance shot to the bedside clock. 7:00 a.m. Way too early, but babies didn’t care about time. He’d learned that when Amanda had arrived at 3:00 a.m. on a Sunday, right before midterms. Then something else occurred to him. “Didn’t Elena still have a few weeks to go with the pregnancy?”

  “Yeah, but the baby’s fine, thank God. A little small, but she’s okay.”

  That more than relieved Drew. “Does she have a name?”

  “Madison Marie Connelly. She’s beautiful. Perfect.”

  Drew stifled a laugh. His brother, the one-time consummate playboy, was totally smitten over a newborn daughter. How well Drew knew that concept, to have your life consumed by such a gift. “Congratulations, Brett. How’s Elena?”

  “Happy but tired. She did great, even after twelve hours of labor. I started to call Mother but I didn’t know how long we’d be here before Elena delivered. Once we arrived at the pivotal moment, it happened pretty fast.”

  “Think Elena’s up for some visitors?”

  “Sure. But if you’re coming to the hospital, do it today. She’ll probably go home tomorrow.”

  “I’ll try to stop by on our way back into the city. I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

  “Would that be Kristina?”

  “You already know about her?”

  “Come on, Drew. News of mating and marriage travels at the speed of light in this family. I’m just kind of offended you didn’t tell me yourself.”

  “You had enough on your mind lately.” In reality, Drew hadn’t told his brother because he’d had no idea the crazy arrangement would work out with Kristina. But he was really beginning to believe it would work, especially after last night when he’d spent hours loving a woman who had changed him so much it was almost scary.


  “I’m telling you now, Brett, that she is one great lady. I think you’ll really like her.”

  “If you like her, then I’ll like her.”

  Drew’s feelings for Kristina went beyond simple fondness, that much he now realized. Needing to touch her once again, he reached for Kristina and found the space she had occupied last night empty. He aimed to find out where she’d gone.

  “I better grab some sleep while I can,” Drew told his brother, knowing in fact he really wanted to grab Kristina. “I’ll see you this evening.”

  Drew hung up the phone and sat up in the bed. The sound of the shower in the adjacent bathroom caught his attention, and he figured Kristina was attempting to wash away the remnants of last night’s champagne indulgence. Most of the bottle had ended up on their bodies, not in their bellies. He was still sticky in some pretty unusual places. Kristina Simmons not only had exceptional hands, she also had a very gifted mouth.

  That woke all of him up, and he sure as heck didn’t want to wait for Kristina to come back to bed and take care of his early rising. After all, he’d considered joining her in the shower many times. A really nice fantasy that would be an even better reality.

  He slipped out of the bed and paused at the closed bathroom door when he heard Kristina singing. She had a fantastic voice and a body to match. Both were lethal, especially to a guy who’d recently discovered her many talents. He wanted to experience everything she had to offer, although what he’d already learned about Kristina Simmons went far beyond the physical.

  She was all that he could ask for in a woman, a mother for his child. A lover. And most importantly, a friend.

  He smiled to himself when he considered that just a few short weeks ago, he’d had no intention of becoming engaged. Now engagement wasn’t distasteful in the least, thanks to one lady with a good heart, a kind soul and wisdom beyond her years.

  Slowly he turned the knob and opened the door. The room was hazy with steam that clouded the mirrored walls and opaque shower doors. He couldn’t make out much beyond Kristina’s form underneath the spray. Time for a better look.

  He opened the shower stall. “Is there room for me?”