Through Jenna’s Eyes Read online

  After they returned to the living room, David released a long-suffering sigh. “I thought the two of you had already left.”

  He was hoping they’d left, Jenna decided. “There’s been a change in plans, David. Where’s J.D.’s bedroom?”

  “I thought we’d determined this was a bad idea.”

  Jenna was losing her tenuous hold on her patience. “I want to visit with my son tonight. If he sees me, he’ll know it’s me.”

  “I don’t have to agree to this, Jen.”

  “You need to consider what’s best for J.D.,” Logan said. “.And that’s a visit with his mother.”

  “I am considering him, O’Brien, and right now he doesn’t want to see either of you.”

  Jenna sensed movement in front of her right before Ginger said, “I understand how distressing this must be, Jenna. but I really don’t think you want to upset John David further.”

  Jenna was on the verge of surrendering again until Logan asked, “How far along are you, Ginger?”

  “Almost four months.”

  Setting aside her momentary astonishment and unreasonable bite of envy, Jenna decided to run with information Logan had provided. “How would you like it if someone kept you from your baby. Ginger?”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “Then, let me have the chance to speak with my son. If he becomes too upset, I promise I’ll leave.”

  “She’s right, David,” Ginger said. “She should have the opportunity to at least try.”

  “I don’t like this one damn bit.” David muttered.

  Logan’s grip tightened on Jenna’s hand. “This isn’t about you. Leedstone. Now. tell us where his bedroom is or I’ll find it myself”

  Jenna loved Logan for his concern. She loved that he’d given her this opportunity, no matter what the outcome might be. She loved…him? Now was not the time to examine that random thought.

  “At the top of the stairs, second door to the left,” David conceded. “But if he refuses, I want both of you back down here immediately.”

  Keeping her fury in check, Jenna gathered all the benevolence she could muster and said, “Thank you so much for allowing me to see my own child.”

  Logan took her by the hand and escorted her back through the corridor before he paused. “We’re at the staircase. The steps are about two feet deep with about ten leading up the first landing and probably as many after that. Think you can make it on your own?”

  Yes, she could, but she didn’t care to. “Will you come with me’?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “That’s what I want.” It’s what she needed.

  They ascended the stairs and traveled down a hallway before he paused and said, “We’re at his bedroom. But let me go in first and talk to him.”

  “He doesn’t know you, Logan.” Jenna wasn’t sure he would know her even after he got a good look at her.

  “True, but I have a plan. Trust me on this, Jenna.”

  Somehow, she did. “Okay.”

  “I’ll leave the door open so you can hear what I’m saying, but stay out of sight, for now.”

  When Logan left her, Jenna leaned a shoulder against the wall and listened.

  “Hey, J.D.”

  “Who are you’?”

  He sounded wary and Jenna wanted to go to him now. hold him tightly, yet she held her impatience in check while Logan implemented his plan. “My name is Logan, and I’m a friend of your mom’s.”

  “Mommy Ginger’?”

  Jenna covered her mouth with her hand and squeezed her eyes shut against the tears. “No. Your mom, Jenna.”

  “Oh. My mama,” he said, bolstering Jenna’s confidence that he hadn’t completely forgotten her. “That’s right. What’s your bear’s name?”

  “Pookie Bear,” Jenna mouthed at the same time as John David. The fluffy blue bear dressed in the sailor suit that she’d given him on his first birthday. The one he’d taken to bed every night since that time. At least that much hadn’t changed.

  “I used to have a brown bear that looked just like him.” Logan said. “His name was Buzz.”

  Jenna couldn’t imagine Logan with a stuffed animal. Tough guy Logan, the expert camper. The expert lover—and friend.

  A span of silence passed before Logan asked, “Is this your mom in the picture?”

  “Uh-huli. She’s in Texas.”

  “She’s right outside the door, buddy, and she wants to see you.”

  “She can’t see me. Her eyes don’t work.”

  She’d never kept that fact from him, but hearing him say it, with such grown-up authority, stung something awful.

  “But you can see your mom, bud, and she really wants to visit with you. Do you want me to go get her?”‘

  “Kay.”

  She heard approaching footsteps and felt Logan’s touch on her arm. “He’s sitting in the bed, which is against the far wall straight ahead when you enter the room. There’s a chair on the left. The lamp’s on the nightstand between the two, and I turned off the overhead light so you can take off your glasses.”

  Amazingly he’d thought of everything. “I appreciate that.”

  “I’m going to give you some time alone with him.”

  Jenna stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I owe you so much. Logan.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. After all, that’s what friends are for.”

  She smiled at the pride in his voice, although she realized she was dangerously close to wanting more than only his friendship. “Will you be right here?”

  “I’ll be back, but first I’m going to see if Ginger will make some coffee. We have a long night of driving ahead of us.”

  Jenna had assumed that maybe they’d find a place to spend the night and she could visit with J.D. tomorrow. But that was too much to ask. Logan had already taken a good deal of time away from his business to cater to her whims. “I’ll see you in a bit, then.”

  “I’ll be waiting. And take your time.”

  When she heard Logan sprint down the stairs, Jenna pulled off her sunglasses and pocketed them, smoothed a hand over her hair and drew in a fortifying breath. With cane in hand and a return of her courage, she walked into the room.

  “How’s my big boy’?”

  “Mama?”

  “Yes, sweetie. It’s me.” She located the chair and perched on the edge. “I came a long, long way to see you tonight.”

  “Texas?”

  She didn’t feel the need to explain that she’d come by way of Arkansas. “That’s right. Your dad told me you’ve grown a whole two inches this year.”

  “Uh-huh. I’m this big.”

  The bed creaked and she saw his hazy form not far away. “Can I have a hug?” She prayed for a yes and prepared for a no.

  Her prayers were answered when John David crawled into her lap. And when his little arms came around her, she didn’t want to let him go, although she did. Yet she was pleasantly surprised when he remained in the chair even after she released him.

  She feathered his hair with her fingertips. “Did you have a good time on your vacation?”

  He straightened and clapped his hands together. “I did!”

  “Well, tell me all about it. then.”

  Jenna listened intently as he talked nonstop about the trip, the cartoon characters on board, the ocean and the beach. Through his childlike joy, she could imagine how wonderful the sights had been, how free he must have felt.

  Following a lull in his enthusiastic recounting of the details, J.D. laid his head on her shoulder and yawned. He grew so still, Jenna assimied he’d fallen asleep in her arms, as he had so many nights not so long ago.

  “Mama?”

  Apparently she’d thought wrong. “Yes, sweetie’?”

  “Is my bed in Texas’?”

  “You have a nice bed in Texas, in a room with lots of toys at your Grandpa Avery’s house. Do you remember him?”

  “Nope.”

  She would have l
aughed over his cowboylike response, had she not been so distraught over how much he’d forgotten. “Anyway, it’s a big house with a swimming pool. And someday soon, you can come to live with us again.”

  “When?”

  “After I have my eyes fixed.”

  He traced a line below her lids. “You get new eyes’?”

  This time, she did laugh. “Only the parts that don’t work.”

  He mulled that over for a time before he said, “Daddy told me I don’t live in Texas anymore. I’m gonna go to school here and Mommy Ginger’s going to give me a baby brother. But Daddy says you can come see me and my baby.”

  David had relegated her to visitor status, a phantom voice on the phone, a person who’d been in John David’s life but wasn’t any longer. Not in any real sense. And she would have something to say about that, but not now. Not when she had only a limited amount of time to enjoy these special moments.

  Jenna swallowed around the tightening in her throat and gave him a squeeze. “How about I tell you a bedtime story?”

  ‘”Kay. Then I go to sleep.”

  “Then you can go to sleep.” She tucked away her sorrow and focused on the way he felt in her arms—so soft and warm and sweet. She would forget for a while that David and Ginger could give him things that she couldn’t—a two-parent home, trips on big boats, a baby brother.

  And as Jenna prepared to recite her son’s favorite tale of wood sprites and fantastic creatures, she made a conscious effort to store this moment in her memory and house it with those she’d gathered throughout his young life. Because deep in her soul, she feared this could very well be the last time she would have the opportunity to hold her child.

  “Where is my daughter, O’Brien?”

  Thankfully Logan had stepped outside when the call had come in. “She’s with me, and she’s fine.”

  Come to think of it, Logan hadn’t seen her cell phone. “The battery could be dead.” Or she could be avoiding her father.

  “How long before you arrive in Houston?”

  “We still have a few hours to go because we’re in Tennessee.” Logan tipped the phone away from his ear in preparation for a minor explosion.

  “What in the hell are you doing in Tennessee?”

  Make that a major explosion. “I’m doing what you should have done a long time ago, letting her visit with your grandson.”

  “And why wasn’t I notified of your change in plans’?”

  “I’m notifying you now. We’ll be home in the morning. But you might want to reschedule our meeting in case I get stuck in traffic.”

  “The meeting is off, O’Brien. And so is the deal.”

  No real surprise to Logan. He’d known what he was risking when he’d chosen to take the detour on the way to Texas. “Not a problem, Avery. Jenna’s more important than your financial backing.”

  “Exactly how important is she to you’?” he asked suspiciously.

  “She’s my friend, Avery, and that’s all.” The words sounded false to Logan, in part because they weren’t exactly true. “I have to go so we can get on the road.”

  “I don’t like the thought of you driving all night.”

  “I’ve driven all hours of the night before without incident.” Or they could get a hotel room, which would mean setting aside work for a little more pleasure and possibly losing more business in the process.

  “I want my daughter home as soon as possible. Logan. And I’m holding you personally responsible for her safety.”

  “I’ll have her call you when we’re m Houston.”

  Before he had to endure any more of Avery’s reprimands. Logan Hipped the phone closed and shoved it into the holder attached to his belt loop. The ten-hour drive was going to be tough, but after a few cups of coffee from the pot Ginger was making, he should be good to go. But he wasn’t looking forward to tearing Jenna away from her child.

  He also wasn’t looking forward to confronting David Leedstone who’d suddenly appeared on the porch. He wore a go-to-hell expression as he leaned a shoulder against a column and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Tell me something, O’Brien. How long has this thing with you and Jenna been going on?”

  The man sounded a little too interested to Logan. “Jenna’s a friend.”

  “Are you two sleeping together’?”

  “That’s none of your damn business, Leedstone.”

  “That’s what I thought.”

  Logan was tempted to wipe the smirk off the bastard’s face. “Think what you will Your opinion doesn’t matter to me or to Jenna.”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at her, O’Brien. I know because I used to look at her that way, too. She’s the kind of woman who gets under your skin. You want to protect her, but she won’t let you. And if you get too close to her, she pushes you away because she automatically believes you’re trying to run her life.”

  “I figure that’s exactly what you did, Dave. Ran her life until you ran her off.”

  “It’s David, not Dave. And did she tell you that?”

  “She didn’t have to, Dave. I saw a prime example of that tonight. You’re a control freak and you hate the fact that she can survive without you. In fact, my guess is you’re still in love with her.”

  David’s face turned stone-cold. “You’re wrong. I got over her the minute I met Ginger. And mark my words, if you’re not in love with her now, you will be before it’s all over.”

  Logan saw no reason to respond to the conjecture, even if it did bug him on some level. “I’m going to have some coffee, and then we’re getting the hell out of here. I’d like to say it’s been nice to meet you, but I’d be lying like a dog.”

  Before Logan could get through the door, David said, “I hope you are her friend, because she’s going to need one in the next few weeks.”

  Logan turned around and glared. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m putting you on notice that I’m filing for full custody of J.D. Jenna has no way of knowing when she’ll receive the transplants, and our son needs to be in a stable environment.”

  Logan fisted his hands at his side, realizing he needed to leave now before the situation digressed any further. “Jenna needs to be with J.D., and I’ll see you in hell before I let you take that from her.”

  Before Logan made it through the door, David called him back. “You’re right about one thing, O’Brien. I did love Jenna at one time, and a part of me always will love her because she gave me J.D. And I’m not as unreasonable as you might think. I’m not doing this to hurt her. I only want what’s best for my son.”

  Leedstone’s admission only added fuel to the tire binning in Logan’s gut. “If you cared about her, at all, then you wouldn’t even consider keeping J.D. away from her.”

  Without waiting for a response, Logan tore into the house and up the stairs at breakneck speed. He paused outside the bedroom and harnessed his anger before opening the door.

  The scene playing out before him only cemented Logan’s concern for Jenna. With her eyes closed and J.D. asleep in her arms, she looked serene, totally unaware of what the future might hold. And the worst part was, she had no clue that, if David Leedstone had his way, this could be the last time she’d hold her child until the custody war had been Won—or lost.

  No matter what he’d said to Leedstone a few minutes before, this wasn’t his fight, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Not unless Jenna invited him into the battle.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jenna had slept on and off most of the journey, and when she’d been awake, she’d been unusually quiet. But then, so had Logan.

  For ten hours straight, his mind had reeled with the knowledge he held, and whether to share it with Jenna. He felt certain she was still oblivious to Leedstone’s plans. Nothing had been said aside from forced goodbyes when they’d left. And now Logan was charged with telling her the sorry news, as hard as that would be on her. No one knew bitter betrayal better than him.

  When they reached the c
ity limits, the stop-and-go Monday-morning traffic bought Logan a little more time before he dropped her off at the estate and provided the opportunity to make the revelation he didn’t want to make. But she deserved the truth.

  He glanced at Jenna to find she’d put on her shades to protect against the rising sun. But he could tell she was awake from the way she thrummed her nails on the console.

  He reached over and clasped her hand not only to still her movements, but also to provide some support. “Your ex-husband’s an ass.”

  She smiled. “He’s not really that bad most of the time. In fact, he used to be very charming. I’m not sure why he acted the way he did last night.”

  “He has a guilty conscience.”

  “Why would you say that’?”

  Damn, he hated doing this to her, but he didn’t have a choice. “He told me he’s going to file for full custody of J.D.” He expected an angry response, maybe even tears, yet she only continued to stare out the windshield. “Did you hear what I said?”

  “My ears are wrorking fine. I’m just not surprised. John David basically told me the same thing.” No wonder she’d been so sullen on the drive. “He told you about the custody issue?”

  She released a humorless laugh. “He’s smart, Logan, and very articulate for a three-and-a-harf-year-old. But he’s not quite that smart. David told him he lived in Tennessee now, not Texas, and that I could visit. He also said in so many words that he doesn’t want to live with me.”

  Damn Leedstone to hell. “.And that doesn’t bother you?”

  “Of course it bothers me. It tore my heart out. But David might be right.”

  Logan hadn’t anticipated the defeat in her tone, and hearing it made him sick inside. “He’s wrong, Jenna. J.D. belongs with you.”

  “I’m not sure he does. Visual impairment and a child is a terrible combination, which is probably why my biological mother gave me up for adoption.”

  “You don’t know that your mother was blind.”

  “No, I don’t know for certain. But my instincts tell me she was and she made the decision based on what she thought was best for me.”

  “I’m not going to let you give up, Jenna.”

  She swept her hair back with one hand. “It’s not your decision to make, Logan. And honestly. I’m too tired to discuss it.”